So, you’re tired of trying. And, you’ve tried everything, right?
If you answered yes to either of those questions, congratulations, you’ve just walked into a room to join 90% of people who set out to accomplish goals but never see them through.
And, I’m right here with you.
Yes, you read that right. I along with nearly all of the human population have tried and failed many times over.
You know the drill. You get an idea and you go after it only to be knocked down, tripped up or sidetracked by life. It happens all the time. Every second of every day, someone fails at something.
But do you know what separates the 10% of people who actually succeed?
And, who are these people? Who are we actually talking about?
Let’s break it down.
Let’s pretend you’re an aspiring writer.
If you’re a writer I’m sure you’ve been to a bookstore. If you haven’t, then I’m sorry but you’re just not cut out for the job. Regardless your profession or stage in life, imagine what a bookstore looks, feels, smells and sounds like.
Inside this store are rows of shelves, all lined with books of every genre, from thousands of writers — all of whom are published authors. Let me say this again:
As you look around, you might wonder how you can be a part of this exclusive club — to be honored by having your words come to life in print and your pages bound and covered.
The truth is, you won’t.
And, you won’t until you finally allow yourself to.
The difference between the aspiring writer and the published author is the level of perseverance, accountability, discipline and self-reliance one is willing to create for oneself
This goes for anyone looking to succeed at anything in life.
It doesn’t matter if you’re an aspiring writer with dreams on making it big with a breakout novel, or if you’re an accountant hoping to start your own CPA business. What you want to do matters little.
But, what energy you put into it matters the most.
It’s often said in the parlance of our time, “the struggle is real.” Well, I’ll contend that the struggle is only real if you make it real. Sure, we all struggle. We all wrestle with conflict each day. But, it’s not the reason why our struggles exist that matters.
It’s how you acknowledge them.
The truth is, most of our struggles are self-manifested. This is to say, we create most of the problems that we deal with throughout life. Of course, other factors do play an active role in our lives. Some things are completely out of our control and we must adapt to these challenges.
But adapting to our own challenges — to the challenges we create for ourselves — is a part of growth that nobody tends to acknowledge.
This is called being human.
We like to blame. We prefer to make excuses. We shift the dynamic of struggle to an outlying reason — to a separate cause for our own self-created misery. But, all the while, deep down inside, we ultimately know that we are the culprit.
We are the stumbling block.
In perceiving life through an honest set of eyes, we might then understand that it is our own mindset that trips us up.
It’s our own actions (or inaction) and our own thought-play that ruins our dreams and thwarts our progression.
It’s our inability to acknowledge this truth that keeps us just outside the door of success.
So, what do you do about it?
You keep grinding. You become completely self-reliant.
You keep working and keep moving forward.
The old line about doing something a thousand times only to expect a different result being “insanity” is a total myth. If I expect to get better at running, don’t you think I’d need to keep running?
But working toward the goal is only a small part of this process.
Things will go wrong. Setbacks will occur. Life will happen. And you? Well, you’ll happen, too.
Acknowledging that you’re the one to blame when things don’t work out sets the stage for a powerful realization. You open yourself up to being humble and appreciative of the process — whatever process it is that you’ve initiated.
Only by viewing ourselves dispassionately can we fully understand what we’ve set out to accomplish and why, and what went wrong along the way.
And, once we’ve fully understood this can we make the necessary adjustments to move forward.
This is what separates the 10% from the 90%. Truth and honesty.
You know when you’re not giving it your all. You know when you lack motivation. You know when you’re procrastinating. And, you know when your heart just isn’t in the game.
In order to succeed, you have to be willing to punish yourself in many ways. This also means correcting your own “bad” behavior.
After all, nobody else is going to do it for you.
All in all, the fine line which separates the 10 from the 90 comes down to one simple thing — attuned self-reliance.
Here’s what I mean…
Years ago, my grandfather gave me some of the best advice that I never took to heart. It goes something like this:
“The only person you can count on in life is staring back at you when you look in the mirror.”
I never gave it much thought because it sounded so simple and basic.
“Obviously,” I thought.
Now, at the age of 43, that advice rings more clear in my head than anything I’ve ever learned. And it does so because throughout life, I’ve always had someone to rely on.
I realize now that I’ve never given my all in anything I’ve tried to accomplish because I’ve always had a safety net. I could always “start over” if things didn’t work out.
I now understand how your own mindset is critical to meeting, achieving and exceeding goals. Further, if you can’t rely on yourself completely to meet goals, you truly cannot achieve anything. Because if you rely on someone else, your accomplishments will never be fully owned.
Someone else (not you) will be responsible for your achievements.
And, it’s taken my entire life to fully understand this fact.
Above all, I now understand how truly important self-reliance is. I also understand how my lack of self-reliance and not correcting this earlier has cost me dearly in life.
This is the struggle that I’ve created for myself.
And, this is why I’m part of the 90% who never succeed.